So much to say.
Well, things are a' changin' that's fo sho.
Tara Janik, my beloved roommate & sister for life, moved out of our condo the day before yesterday.
This makes me sad.
Why does it always seem that right when you're getting the hang of something the time is over?
Perhaps that's when you've learned all you can..
I dont know.
My relationship with Michael has significantly changed as well. Maybe not the feelings, but things have definitely been put into some major alignment...
Which is a GREAT thing.
Here is what I wrote a couple of my closest friends on facebook about it, I hope it makes sense...
I just wanted to explain something that recently happened that may have caught your attention.
Michael and I "broke up."
I know that is probably something none of you were expecting but I want to explain it to you...
The terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" are ridiculous.
Calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend doesn’t work because it only implies that there is a romantic relationship and it doesn’t distinguish the difference between relationships with other people of the opposite gender…
So if I have a guy who is my friend isn't he a boy-friend? And also, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH A BOY?
THIS IS WORLDY!
Using worldly terms cause you to act in a worldly way
This is what's really going on here...
We are a brother and sister who are searching God's purpose for our relationship....
We are redefining our relationship... BIBLICALLY.
We are friends
We are attracted to each other..
We see that both of us have a heart to seek and know Jesus Christ..
We see potential of what could or may be..
We have a cultural connection
The language you use will put you in bondage..
Here are BIBLICAL levels of relationships..
1. Stranger - You don't know each other AT ALL.
2. Acquaintance - You know their name
3. Comrade - You work with each other
4. Brother/Sister - You are connected through emotional/feeling love
5. Friend - NO GREATER LOVE THAN THIS, THAN A MAN WHO WOULD LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIEND JOHN 15:13
6. Partner - Marriage
The only term used in the bible for a woman who is with a man is BETROTHED... Which means to be married or engaged and the term MARRIED.
There are certain things that need to be in order for a man and a woman to be married one day.. He needs to have a vision for WHERE he is taking you, a career, some type of spiritual objection, he needs to be FINANCIALLY STABLE and he needs to be living a life worthy of RESPECTING..
There are still things that are missing in this equation for Michael and I to be married one day so to call it courting isn't right either.. because he's not in the place to marry me yet right? so why are we putting pressure on ourselves to get married and be right spiritually because of some man created title? it's about GOD'S TIMING NOT OURS.
PLEASE UNDERSTAND that I am not trying to just take labels off or something pointless like that, I am trying to be OBEDIENT and I feel like too often in my life I have swam with the current of this world and I REFUSE TO CONTINUE DOING THAT!
So until I am in the position to be "betrothed" I need to PURSUE GOD for these things as does Michael.
How can I be a citizen of heaven if I act like a citizen of THIS WORLD?
It's about using KINGDOM LANGUAGE
What is dating?
What is boyfriend/girlfriend?
What is getting "asked out" or "hit on" ?
These are not words of THE KINGDOM and if I continue to use them it is going to be how I end up acting!
People have "wordly" marriages and divorces because everything that leads up to their marriage is WORDLY!
I’m not going to let terms of THIS WORLD & let limitations and boundaries keep me in bondage.
I am pursuing the Lord with my brother in Christ Michael to see if it is HIS WILL that we be in a partner relationship with each other one day.
In HIS Love & Grip I Remain,
Things are GOOD in my life. The Lord is working, doing, and undoing things.. Refining and purifying... He is here. In my life. Now.
I am so alone but at the same time I have never been so not alone.
Deut. 31:6- "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Duet. 31:8- "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Where is the line between guarding your own heart and then just doing Philippians 4:7 and just praying and trusting Him? He said if you would do that the peace that surpasses understanding would guard you heart and mind...
So trusting in God, believing His promises, and walking in them = God guarding you heart?
Michael (my wonderful and amazing, God fearing boyfriend) left the day before yesterday from a wonderful 7 days here in FL all the way from Virginia for Thanksgiving break.. ::sign::
I am in love.
Jesus, there is so much refining still left in our personal lives and in this relationship!
Help us TRUST you..
Help us CLING to you..
Help us to BELIEVE the promises you've spoken to us..
God is REAL and in Him there is ONLY truth, so if you believe the TRUTH, He will PROTECT YOU!
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged... Deut. 31:8
Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” Pilate said to him, “What is truth?”
After he had said this, he went back outside to the Jews and told them, “I find no guilt in him.
Don't get caught up in fear. Fear comes from being punished but PERFECT LOVE casts out all fear; so REMAIN in HIM and He will REMAIN IN YOU.. [for GOD IS LOVE]
So... It's all about John 15
Thursday, November 20, 2008
What things are good? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The fruits of the spirit... Man, it's all about love right now...Last night I spoke with my youth group on a new series I am writing based on the fruits of the spirit, beginning with the most important... LOVE...
Read these words & I pray that right now, in this moment, His love would penetrate you...
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you
with power through his Spirit in your inner being,
so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.
And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,
may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp
how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,
and to know this love th
at surpasses knowledge — that
you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than
all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,
(verse 21) to him be glory in the church and in
throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
I am continually learning more and more about love and what it means to have it for the Lord and for His people... MAY AGAPE LOVE RUN THROUGH MY VEINS OH GOD.
A good friend of mine gave me this verse and it was as if I had read it for the first time...
"Leave no debt outstanding except for that w
ith which to love one another..." Romans 13:8
Regardless of how we are loved... has nothing to do with the love that we owe...
So it doesn't depend if people treat us rudely...
Say mean things...
or HATE US...
WE ARE TO LOVE.
WE ARE TO DECIDE IN OUR MINDS.
WE ARE TO LOVE "IN SPITE OF"
not "Because of"
Agape NEVER fails...
We wonder & ask God why He allows horrible things happen.. Poverty, sickness, disease, hurting and dying people, abortion... but have you ever thought to wonder maybe He is asking us the same thing?
After all, we are his hands and his feet...
But now these three remain: Faith, Hope, & Love. But the greatest of these is Love.
1 Corinthians 13:13
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
So I just talked to my BELOVED friend Kristina Kingsmill today for the first time, who has been in the hospital for the last month of her life recovering from being hit by a car... You think about stuff like that happening to "other people" but never does it really hit you until it happens to you or someone you know... and it just makes me think...
God spared her life. Why? Because He wanted to.
...Not because He had to or because He was obligated to, but because He just decided to do it! God is GOOD. We seem to think that with changing circumstances God seizes to be good or seizes to bless us, yet our circumstances have absolutely NOTHING to do with the character of God...
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be your name
And blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Through there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name
"Though he slay me, yet will I trust in Him" - Job 1:4-5
My life is pretty routine...
Pretty normal... ew. But I hate normal?
Well... I guess normal right now is meaning:
I am being refined
I am being broken
I am being torn
I am bring shattered
I am being RUINED...
...and yet, I WILL CHOOSE TO STILL TRUST IN HIM... Because I KNOW He's just getting started... And before things start moving in the natural there are things shifting in the supernatural, in the unseen... And instead of looking at life from where I stand I will DAILY choose to trust Him and thank Him, that even though my circumstances have changed HE HAS NOT.
Even though things are different, His promise over my life is STILL THE SAME....
"She will be a prophetess and a soul winner"
There are three types of people in life - The driver, the passenger, or the luggage...
I trust God to drive...
I don't have to sit in the front seat seeing everything he is doing...
Instead... I think I'll choose to be in the dark, in the trunk, trusting that He is taking me where I need to go.. I know in time everything will be revealed.
...That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong... 2 Corinthians 12:10
Did I mention that I get to see the love of my life in... 6 DAYS?!
Life is good, but even when it's not... GOD IS.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
I suppose I am officially a "blogger."
Hmm.. Well, I love Jesus and His Spirit and His words and His voice and His hand on my life and without Him I would not be able to live or survive.. He is my oxygen.
So, I'm here in Port St. Lucie and just got back from the pineapple festival with my good friends Nikki, Maria, and Tara watching "Baby Mama" which is HILARIOUS by the way & trying to figure this thing out.. I'm excited to explore & travel through my thoughts on here, and hopefully read yours as well..
My purpose is to embrace life, laughter, liberty, and the cross...
My purpose is to fulfill my destiny today, in this moment, NOW.. Carpe horem.. Matthew 6:34
My purpose is to experience LOVE & INTIMACY.. Go to the secret place.. Psalm 27:4 & a relentless pursuit of God and a relentless pursuit of the people He loves..
My purpose is for COMMUNITY... Living out Acts 2
My purpose is for intercession and to war.. Matt 11:12
My purpose is to have DRIVE.. I will RUN with diligence, 1 Cor. 9:24..
So I decided before I start this thing & just put things out there about me, I must be known for what is REALLY inside me..
So here I am, a 20 year old girl who lives life because that is what it was created for, to experience and savor EVERY good thing.. and to make Jesus KNOWN.
Welcome to my crazy, beautiful, & mixed up life :-)