Salt Spill... Overflow

I can't believe I'm writing in here again, so soon anyway.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the lost...

oh how I love them.. So much.

I think every time I stop and ponder about all the masses of people who will burn in hell because they never decided to truly take the gospel and story of Jesus seriously, it makes my heart break... the more I think about it the more grief and pain and even fear I feel rise up in me...

But grief, pain, and ESPECIALLY fear will not save people from Hell...

Love and ONLY love will do it. 

true.

real.

unconditional.

Jesus Christ.

crazy.

limitless.

love.

and that's it...

I am currently working as a fitness consultant @ TNT family fitness, a gym in Port Saint Lucie FL where I have met only 2 other people who call themselves Christians...

The rest, broken... battered... & bruised.

No REAL joy, just temporary happiness.

No REAL life, just here on earth.

No REAL love, just what mistakenly have experienced it to be.

No REAL God, just the wooden/plastic/famous idols that will one day burn.

MY HEART IS WRENCHED....

To me, I see christianity as a once starving man who has finally found where the harvest of food is... it is our job to tell the others who are dying of that same hunger we once suffered...

I go to work day in and day out, seeing these people every day trying to temporarily satisfy & fill a gaping hole inside of them the size of eternity... 

I read in a book somewhere, "it's not what you say that changes people, its the love you give..."

Tonight I talked to this beautiful young woman who wasn't more than 19 or 20 

years old.. She had already been cheated on in a past relationship more than 17 times.. and she kept saying she didn't know what she had done to go through all of it but that God was now giving her a piece of heaven because of the hell that she had gone through before...

My heart breaks because THEY DO NOT KNOW HIM!

Oh, that they WOULD KNOW HIM... If they could understand HE IS ALIVE!!

That's the most reoccurring thought right now for me...

So I have been loving them, I have been working alongside them, rubbing elbows and hoping that maybe... just maybe, their time would come and I would be able to see God do a miracle in someone's heart.

Think of it like Jesus said in Mark in verses 26-29

"Then Jesus said, 'God's kingdom is like seed thrown on a field by a man who then goes to bed and forgets about it. The seed sprouts and grows—he has no idea how it happens. The earth does it all without his help: first a green stem of grass, then a bud, then the ripened grain. When the grain is fully formed, he reaps—harvest time!'"

So when it comes down to it... We can plant the seed, and even water it.. but it is GOD that brings the growth.. and it always will be, because.. well, we are HIS children.. and 

so are they.

[I corinthians 1:17]

One day though... every tongue will confess, and every knee will bow at the name of Jesus... when they know and understand what he did... and even the ones that don't will be faced with the truth. 

May the overflow of our love impact people, may they experience the fragrance of who Jesus Christ is through you and I... After all, we are his hands and his feet.

Salt Spill... Brokenness

Have you ever felt so broken that the tears just wouldn't stop... Or how about so broken that they finally did stop because you cried until there was none left...

Sometimes there is a reason and sometimes there just isn't... The burden of this world is so heavy and sometimes instead of casting our worries to the Lord, we take them upon ourselves.. Things happen, people die, hearts are broken, and the same old roaring lion seeking who he can devour...

Lately the Lord has definitely been taking me through the high waters David talks about in Psalm 69...

1 Save me, O God,
for the floodwaters are up to my neck.
2 Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;
I can’t find a foothold.
I am in deep water,
and the floods overwhelm me.
3 I am exhausted from crying for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes are swollen with weeping,
waiting for my God to help me.

Here I am in a similar situation crying out as David did, Christians EXPERIENCE this and it's okay because THE LORD loves us UNFAILINGLY... We cannot forget this! REMEMBER! REMEMBER THE TRUTH! We must be CONSISTENT and call upon Him..

13 But I keep praying to you, Lord,
hoping this time you will show me favor.
In your unfailing love, O God,
answer my prayer with your sure salvation.
14 Rescue me from the mud;
don’t let me sink any deeper!
Save me from those who hate me,
and pull me from these deep waters.
15 Don’t let the floods overwhelm me,
or the deep waters swallow me,
or the pit of death devour me.

The enemy sits, plotting, and waiting for our hope to fail us so that he can use these "trials of many kinds" to do three things.. Kill, steal, and destroy us...

29 I am suffering and in pain.
Rescue me, O God, by your saving power.

30 Then I will praise God’s name with singing,
and I will honor him with thanksgiving.
31 For this will please the Lord more than sacrificing cattle,
more than presenting a bull with its horns and hooves.
32 The humble will see their God at work and be glad.
Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.
33 For the Lord hears the cries of the needy;
he does not despise his imprisoned people.

34 Praise him, O heaven and earth,
the seas and all that move in them.
35 For God will save Jerusalem[d]
and rebuild the towns of Judah.
His people will live there
and settle in their own land.
36 The descendants of those who obey him will inherit the land,
and those who love him will live there in safety.

THIS MY FRIENDS IS WHAT SETS US APART-- Our PRAISE!

I have not chosen to be thankful in the past for my tears, but in moving ahead I will choose to be, I will fight, and I will no longer allow the enemy to batter me to pieces triumphing over me as if what Jesus did on the cross never happened...

WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERERS!

God will never plant the seed of his life upon the soil of a hard, unbroken spirit. He will only plant that seed where
the conviction of His Spirit
has brought brokenness,
where the soil has been watered
with the tears of repentance
as well as the tears of joy.

Alan Redpath
(1907-1989)

He is preparing you and I to do a MIRACLE IN AND THROUGH US...
The enemy is waiting at the door to use these hard times as an opportunity for us to give up, sin, and allow ourselves to be defeated...


Heart-rending
is divinely wrought
and solemnly felt.

Charles H. Spurgeon
(1834-1892)

J. C. Philpot wrote that "There is much presumption, pride, hypocrisy, deceit, delusion, formality, superstition and self-righteousness to be purged out of the heart of God's child."

I know this is true in me.. Brokenness is inevitable if we are to call ourselves Christians... but TAKE HEART

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise." (Psalm 51:17)

PRAISE THE LORD.
Praise Him, unceasingly, even in your pain...
He's not done with me, and he is not done with you either.. He who started a work in us is faithful to complete it... We are being made more and more into his image and because of the trials.. our faith WILL persevere...
Don't be afraid to let the tears fall.. The world sees it as weak but the word of God says He holds each one in a bottle... [Psalm 56:8]

Salt Spill... Lessons

hmm...
So much to say.

Well, things are a' changin' that's fo sho.

Tara Janik, my beloved roommate & sister for life, moved out of our condo the day before yesterday.
This makes me sad.

Why does it always seem that right when you're getting the hang of something the time is over?
Perhaps that's when you've learned all you can..
I dont know.

My relationship with Michael has significantly changed as well. Maybe not the feelings, but things have definitely been put into some major alignment...
Which is a GREAT thing.

Here is what I wrote a couple of my closest friends on facebook about it, I hope it makes sense...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys!
I just wanted to explain something that recently happened that may have caught your attention.

Michael and I "broke up."

AH.
I know that is probably something none of you were expecting but I want to explain it to you...

The terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" are ridiculous.

Calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend doesn’t work because it only implies that there is a romantic relationship and it doesn’t distinguish the difference between relationships with other people of the opposite gender…

So if I have a guy who is my friend isn't he a boy-friend? And also, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH A BOY?

THIS IS WORLDY!

Using worldly terms cause you to act in a worldly way
This is what's really going on here...

We are a brother and sister who are searching God's purpose for our relationship....

We are redefining our relationship... BIBLICALLY.
We are friends

We are attracted to each other..
We see that both of us have a heart to seek and know Jesus Christ..
We see potential of what could or may be..
We have a cultural connection

The language you use will put you in bondage..
Here are BIBLICAL levels of relationships..

1. Stranger - You don't know each other AT ALL.
2. Acquaintance - You know their name
3. Comrade - You work with each other
4. Brother/Sister - You are connected through emotional/feeling love
5. Friend - NO GREATER LOVE THAN THIS, THAN A MAN WHO WOULD LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIEND JOHN 15:13
6. Partner - Marriage

The only term used in the bible for a woman who is with a man is BETROTHED... Which means to be married or engaged and the term MARRIED.

There are certain things that need to be in order for a man and a woman to be married one day.. He needs to have a vision for WHERE he is taking you, a career, some type of spiritual objection, he needs to be FINANCIALLY STABLE and he needs to be living a life worthy of RESPECTING..

There are still things that are missing in this equation for Michael and I to be married one day so to call it courting isn't right either.. because he's not in the place to marry me yet right? so why are we putting pressure on ourselves to get married and be right spiritually because of some man created title? it's about GOD'S TIMING NOT OURS.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND that I am not trying to just take labels off or something pointless like that, I am trying to be OBEDIENT and I feel like too often in my life I have swam with the current of this world and I REFUSE TO CONTINUE DOING THAT!

So until I am in the position to be "betrothed" I need to PURSUE GOD for these things as does Michael.

How can I be a citizen of heaven if I act like a citizen of THIS WORLD?

It's about using KINGDOM LANGUAGE
What is dating?
What is boyfriend/girlfriend?
What is getting "asked out" or "hit on" ?
These are not words of THE KINGDOM and if I continue to use them it is going to be how I end up acting!

People have "wordly" marriages and divorces because everything that leads up to their marriage is WORDLY!

KINGDOM LANGUAGE

I’m not going to let terms of THIS WORLD & let limitations and boundaries keep me in bondage.

I am pursuing the Lord with my brother in Christ Michael to see if it is HIS WILL that we be in a partner relationship with each other one day.

In HIS Love & Grip I Remain,
Bianca

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things are GOOD in my life. The Lord is working, doing, and undoing things.. Refining and purifying... He is here. In my life. Now.

I am so alone but at the same time I have never been so not alone.
Deut. 31:6- "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Duet. 31:8- "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Salt Spill... Truth

Where is the line between guarding your own heart and then just doing Philippians 4:7 and just praying and trusting Him? He said if you would do that the peace that surpasses understanding would guard you heart and mind...

So trusting in God, believing His promises, and walking in them = God guarding you heart?

Michael (my wonderful and amazing, God fearing boyfriend) left the day before yesterday from a wonderful 7 days here in FL all the way from Virginia for Thanksgiving break.. ::sign:: 

I am in love. 

Jesus, there is so much refining still left in our personal lives and in this relationship!

Help us TRUST you.. 

Help us CLING to you..

Help us to BELIEVE the promises you've spoken to us..

God is REAL and in Him there is ONLY truth, so if you believe the TRUTH, He will PROTECT YOU!

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged... Deut. 31:8

Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” Pilate said to him, “What is truth?”

After he had said this, he went back outside to the Jews and told them, “I find no guilt in him.

John 18:37-38

Don't get caught up in fear.  Fear comes from being punished but PERFECT LOVE casts out all fear; so REMAIN in HIM and He will REMAIN IN YOU.. [for GOD IS LOVE]

So... It's all about John 15

Salt Spill... Love

What things are good? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The fruits of the spirit... Man, it's all about love right now...Last night I spoke with my youth group on a new series I am writing based on the fruits of the spirit, beginning with the most important... LOVE...

Read these words & I pray that right now, in this moment, His love would penetrate you...

Ephesians 3:16-20

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you

with power through his Spirit in your inner being,

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,

may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp

how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

and to know this love th

at surpasses knowledge — that

you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than

all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

(verse 21) to him be glory in the church and in

 Christ Jesus

throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. 

I am continually learning more and more about love and what it means to have it for the Lord and for His people... MAY AGAPE LOVE RUN THROUGH MY VEINS OH GOD.

A good friend of mine gave me this verse and it was as if I had read it for the first time...

"Leave no debt outstanding except for that w

ith which to love one another..." Romans 13:8

WOW.

Regardless of how we are loved... has nothing to do with the love that we owe...

So it doesn't depend if people treat us rudely...

Say mean things...

Hurt us...

or HATE US...

WE ARE TO LOVE.

WE ARE TO DECIDE IN OUR MINDS.

WE ARE TO LOVE "IN SPITE OF"

not "Because of"

Agape NEVER fails...

We wonder & ask God why He allows horrible things happen.. Poverty, sickness, disease, hurting and dying people, abortion... but have you ever thought to wonder maybe He is asking us the same thing?

After all, we are his hands and his feet...

But now these three remain: Faith, Hope, & Love. But the greatest of these is Love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Salt Spill... Faith

Wow...

So I just talked to my BELOVED friend Kristina Kingsmill today for the first time, who has been in the hospital for the last month of her life recovering from being hit by a car... You think about stuff like that happening to "other people" but never does it really hit you until it happens to you or someone you know... and it just makes me think...

FAITH.

God spared her life. Why? Because He wanted to.

...Not because He had to or because He was obligated to, but because He just decided to do it! God is GOOD. We seem to think that with changing circumstances God seizes to be good or seizes to bless us, yet our circumstances have absolutely NOTHING to do with the character of God...

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's all as it should be

Blessed be your name

And blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Through there's pain in the offering

Blessed be your name

"Though he slay me, yet will I trust in Him" - Job 1:4-5

My life is pretty routine...

Pretty regular...

Pretty normal... ew. But I hate normal?

Well... I guess normal right now is meaning:

I am being refined

I am being broken

I am being torn

I am bring shattered

I am being RUINED...

...and yet, I WILL CHOOSE TO STILL TRUST IN HIM... Because I KNOW He's just getting started... And before things start moving in the natural there are things shifting in the supernatural, in the unseen... And instead of looking at life from where I stand I will DAILY choose to trust Him and thank Him, that even though my circumstances have changed HE HAS NOT.

Even though things are different, His promise over my life is STILL THE SAME....

"She will be a prophetess and a soul winner"

There are three types of people in life - The driver, the passenger, or the luggage...

I trust God to drive...

I don't have to sit in the front seat seeing everything he is doing...

Instead... I think I'll choose to be in the dark, in the trunk, trusting that He is taking me where I need to go.. I know in time everything will be revealed.

...That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong... 2 Corinthians 12:10

Did I mention that I get to see the love of my life in... 6 DAYS?!

Life is good, but even when it's not... GOD IS.

Salt Spill... I am Bianca

I suppose I am officially a "blogger."

Hmm.. Well, I love Jesus and His Spirit and His words and His voice and His hand on my life and without Him I would not be able to live or survive.. He is my oxygen.

So, I'm here in Port St. Lucie and just got back from the pineapple festival with my good friends Nikki, Maria, and Tara watching "Baby Mama" which is HILARIOUS by the way & trying to figure this thing out.. I'm excited to explore & travel through my thoughts on here, and hopefully read yours as well..

My purpose is to embrace life, laughter, liberty, and the cross...

My purpose is to fulfill my destiny today, in this moment, NOW.. Carpe horem.. Matthew 6:34

My purpose is to experience LOVE & INTIMACY.. Go to the secret place.. Psalm 27:4 & a relentless pursuit of God and a relentless pursuit of the people He loves..

My purpose is for COMMUNITY... Living out Acts 2

My purpose is for intercession and to war.. Matt 11:12

My purpose is to have DRIVE.. I will RUN with diligence, 1 Cor. 9:24..

So I decided before I start this thing & just put things out there about me, I must be known for what is REALLY inside me..

So here I am, a 20 year old girl who lives life because that is what it was created for, to experience and savor EVERY good thing.. and to make Jesus KNOWN.

Welcome to my crazy, beautiful, & mixed up life :-)