He loves us anyway...

Meditating on His goodness and steadfast love that NEVER gives up on us, His children.

How is it possible that even in the midst of our sin, He still continues to pursue our hearts and give us so many opportunities to give up and let Him lead us, to life and life ABUNDANTLY?

He has called us to live according to His word, not because He wants to keep us from having a good time, but because He loves us SO much that he sees us reaching for the things we think we want, but that He knows will harm us in the end.

I've been struggling so much lately, so if you read this, please pray for me.

Recently, I've allowed myself to forget how good He is, and how perfect His plan is for my life. I've slowly stepped out of accountability and authority of His Spirit and gone my own way, thinking it would be best, at least temporarily.

For a while, in my sin, I felt nothing, and I thought maybe I had almost gotten away with it... I felt no horrible conviction or regret and have to admit that that was even scarier then the thought of His discipline. Was it possible that it was all in my head?

Of course, the hammer came swinging down and before you know it His RIGHTEOUS Spirit was there dealing with my heart. All at once I realized how far out I'd allowed myself to go, and how miserable it had made me feel. His Spirit was grieved not because He was mad at me, but because He hurt with me... For the wages of sin are death....

I finally see that He was never trying to keep me from what I wanted, He only wanted to give me what He knew I needed, and that could only be found in Him. He doesn't desire to make us hold back, He desires to have us hold out, for what is BEST! I could've preached this all to someone before in some way or another, I know the word... But it is not about words anymore, it is about WALK... I am no longer interested in how GREAT I TALK, but how STRAIGHT I WALK. Head knowledge goes to some point with people, heart knowledge goes a long way, but application is the only thing that will produce life in my faith.

It's been told to me time and time again, "Good is the enemy of GREAT"

Wouldn't that be the best tactic for Satan to use to trip us up?

Was it not bread that Satan offered Jesus in Matthew 4? Is not bread a good thing? Jesus even used it to feed the 5,000 (John 6). Even things that are good are wrong if the timing is not from the Lord, and the reason that is, is because He can see the big picture, we cannot.

It is not an easy road to follow the Lord, but a good indicator of whether or not you're in trouble is if the road is growing broader and broader... It's a two part system, following Jesus. Yes, we accept Him, and that is when we go through the gate, but what about the road...?

Matt. 7:14 - "But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

To steep, or not to steep, THAT is the question...

While watching tv during my nightly tea session, I started to think about how many images, songs, websites, and even sermons that go in one ear and out the other. The world has become so codependent on entertainment and satiating inner needs with trivial solutions that even those who know the real truth fill themselves with "twinkies" rather than the real "meat and potatoes" that the Lord offers to His children.

I know for myself that consuming is a huge part of my life.

I LOVE to read. I love to learn all that I can about any subject that happens to be of interest to me for that day or week and I will learn all that I can about it, then if something else catches my eye I focus in on that and so the cycle repeats itself. However, in reading the word of God I have come to find it is so much more than learning and hearing the verses, but how long do we allow ourselves to sit and meditate on the power of even ONE verse. To let it steep in our souls, to pray for ultimate revelation, and ultimate freedom in whatever it has for us. I love how the word of God is ALIVE, that it has the ability to separate soul and spirit, that it is ACTIVE

& that it is GOD. It is our manual for living.

I want to read the word and let it steep, I want it to change me. I know that His word does not return void, but I believe it must truly ENTER in order to RETURN.

"I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist"

My go-to phrase for as long as I can remember.

The main thing I've felt the Lord has been revealing to me is, as it says in 1st Corinthians, that God chooses to use the foolish things to shame the things that are strong, or think they are strong (i.e. me). I've been praying and praying that the world would be redefined to me, that I would look in the world of the unseen, and not just rely on "evidence" of the things that are seen, as it often what is most natural to do. I guess my biggest struggle would be seeing that with people, ironically; people and discipleship are my passion. It's funny how our biggest developments are often correlated with our greatest strengths.

On a side note: There are so many beautiful qualities in women... Obviously we are more emotional, but beyond that, many women are able to read below the surface. They possess a natural intuition, and a sensitivity that takes them to depths of places they would never anticipate. They are able to see and reach into one another's lives, into brokenness and pain, and bring healing. I know not EVERY woman is the same, but it is safe to assume that most women can read between the lines.

But when does reading between the lines become too much?

When does picking up on vibes become just over analyzing?

When does discernment become a critical spirit?

I've been praying and asking the Lord this for what feels like every minute this week. So many memories I have of myself discerning something about someone and allowing it to become permission to gather conclusions that were never mine to gather. I repent often, catching myself jumping the gun yet again. It begins in the moment we stop walking in the spirit, and start walking in the flesh. I've always felt that I was just one of those people who call it like they see it. I am guilty of having done this on so many occasions, speaking death about someone; whether it was in my mind or to another and it breaks my heart. I suppose if we as Christians desire to live counter-culturally, nothing will make sense if we see things with eyes of this world.

I desire to be the kind of mother and wife who speaks life, who never uses the gifts God has given me to spew venom. How is it possible, as James says, to have "both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?"

I thank the Lord every day for his patience with me, how He is always willing to suffer long in the midst of my stubbornness. And yet like the Father, He always convicts me and pulls me forward, never allowing me to stay in my sin. It seems the answer then is not to just pretend and ignore what we discern, but to pull love from the Father and walk out in His spirit. To operate in the realm of agape love.

Oh that I could be more like Him.

To love the way the You love, Lord.

To see the way that You see, Father.

And so, the solution:

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things." [Philippians. 4:8]

amor vincit omnia,

-sinner saved by grace.

Materialism...

Consume.

Consume.

Consume.

Never enough, more-more-more,

never satisfied,

always GRABBING,

searching-

where is my God?

Shiny, names, colors & fabrics,

never still,

never stopping,

I am the rabbit& you the dog,

Chase me.

never caught,

Where is my God?

not here...

It's like holding an idol that constantly evolves.

It changes even in your hards,

On your body- AND THROWN AWAY,

a waste. (PICTURE THE CHILDREN STARVING WITH OUR "LAST YEARS" PRADA BAG IN THE TRASH.$$$$$$$$$$)

but you have to keep updating,

get with it,

because it is always different,

CONSUME!

But guess what, it's already consumed YOU!

Tired. I feel like this season has literally been like trying to get through a knot hole. It has been a constant fight to push through and find light when the darkness seems to consume so much of the picture. I regularly am asking myself, "Where is Jesus?" in all of this...

I am ready for change...

I know that all seasons come to an end and that this is temporary, nothing more than a vapor.

Praying for Jesus to reveal Himself and that my eyes would constantly search for Him in all situations.

The truth will set you free, but sometimes it hurts.

More revelation on what it is to be set apart, or in other words, HOLY..

I almost started this off by saying that I now understand the meaning of what it is to be holy, but lately all that I am learning is that I don't know much of anything! I'm shown bits and pieces of an ice burg, less than 10%, and walk away feeling like I am completely aware of the other 90%! Oh what depths the Lord has, more and more and more. His knowledge is infinite and it's in the moments when I think I can even comprehend His thoughts that I realize how silly I am! Fragile, finite and foolish- the only good thing in me being HIM.

I feel like He has gotten a rake and is tearing away at dirt, roots, thorns, and all the things that are choking out the seeds that His word brings into my life.. Bad thoughts that I have allowed from my mind into my heart... The things I've allowed myself to meditate on in my heart have defiled me and yet He has not given up on doing whatever it takes for me to yield more fruit.

I feel like I am starting all over again, which in my pride I get so angry and frustrated with myself because I'm like, "I should know this already, I DO know this!!!" but I guess its not just knowledge that makes a person wise, it is knowledge in action that brings wisdom... I've been going through a spiritual cleanse(cutting out TV, secular music, books, etc...) and it makes me sick to see how much of my time I have allowed to go to entertaining myself with worldliness, whether it be those books, movies, or music... even friends... I definitely am not trying to jump over to the side of legalism but man its crazy how even in my pursuit of Him it is just something done on the back burner but not the actual center of my entire life, sadly I have allowed myself to become that. 

The hardest part of all of this I think was admitting that, because it is always easier to think of myself as good when my scales are false, I compare myself to others and try to make myself feel better that at least I am not doing "this" or "that".... SICK! But reality is a sharp slap in the face.

I am wicked, a sinner, lost without HIM, nothing without HIM... In this revelation of how silly I've allowed myself to become(self sufficient) it is the first time I feel like I am even seeing clearly! My hunger is for HIM! My prayer is to be consumed, that my life would BURN for HIM, that my thoughts and actions would reflect HIS decrees, that I would look away from the world and that He would restore life to me by HIS WORD...(Psalm 119)

I surrender.

I am tired of lying to myself.

Exhaustion.

From Oswald Chambers... It was too good not to share.

"The everlasting God . . . fainteth not, neither is weary." Isaiah 40:28

Exhaustion means that the vital forces are worn right out. Spiritual exhaustion never comes through sin but only through service, and whether or not you are exhausted will depend upon where you get your supplies. Jesus said to Peter - "Feed My sheep," but He gave him nothing to feed them with. The process of being made broken bread and poured out wine means that you have to be the nourishment for other souls until they learn to feed on God. They must drain you to the dregs. Be careful that you get your supply, or before long you will be utterly exhausted. Before other souls learn to draw on the life of the Lord Jesus direct, they have to draw on it through you; you have to be literally "sucked," until they learn to take their nourishment from God. We owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and His sheep as well as for Himself.

Has the way in which you have been serving God betrayed you into exhaustion? If so, then rally your affections. Where did you start the service from? From your own sympathy or from the basis of the Redemption of Jesus Christ? Continually go back to the foundation of your affections and recollect where the source of power is. You have no right to say - "O Lord, I am so exhausted." He saved and sanctified you in order to exhaust you. Be exhausted for God, but remember that your supply comes from Him. "All my fresh springs shall be in Thee."

Salt Spill... Bring Life

"If you want to experience joy, bring joy. Be a life giver."

-Jim Way.

My mentor said these words to me this morning, after having me read Acts 20.

.......

.......

What am I DOING?!

I feel like I've gotten so caught up in my brokenness that all I am longing for is happiness, but what is that?! Nothing more than a temporary sensation, like a bite of chocolate cake.

Circumstances change, but the way I view life will not unless I CHANGE IT. Everything I need to experience joy and to be content I already have now, it's not about looking forward to this or that and waiting for that moment, it's about making that moment come alive NOW.

Here I've been waiting for something to happen TO ME, rather than doing as it says in Isaiah 61:1 -The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed.

Before I can expect to be released from where I am at I must PROSPER where I am planted. One would never move a small plant to a larger pot if it were not first thriving there would they?

I suppose it is the same for me and the Lord.

He is the great gardener, and I am his garden.

Salt Spill... Overflow

I can't believe I'm writing in here again, so soon anyway.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the lost...

oh how I love them.. So much.

I think every time I stop and ponder about all the masses of people who will burn in hell because they never decided to truly take the gospel and story of Jesus seriously, it makes my heart break... the more I think about it the more grief and pain and even fear I feel rise up in me...

But grief, pain, and ESPECIALLY fear will not save people from Hell...

Love and ONLY love will do it. 

true.

real.

unconditional.

Jesus Christ.

crazy.

limitless.

love.

and that's it...

I am currently working as a fitness consultant @ TNT family fitness, a gym in Port Saint Lucie FL where I have met only 2 other people who call themselves Christians...

The rest, broken... battered... & bruised.

No REAL joy, just temporary happiness.

No REAL life, just here on earth.

No REAL love, just what mistakenly have experienced it to be.

No REAL God, just the wooden/plastic/famous idols that will one day burn.

MY HEART IS WRENCHED....

To me, I see christianity as a once starving man who has finally found where the harvest of food is... it is our job to tell the others who are dying of that same hunger we once suffered...

I go to work day in and day out, seeing these people every day trying to temporarily satisfy & fill a gaping hole inside of them the size of eternity... 

I read in a book somewhere, "it's not what you say that changes people, its the love you give..."

Tonight I talked to this beautiful young woman who wasn't more than 19 or 20 

years old.. She had already been cheated on in a past relationship more than 17 times.. and she kept saying she didn't know what she had done to go through all of it but that God was now giving her a piece of heaven because of the hell that she had gone through before...

My heart breaks because THEY DO NOT KNOW HIM!

Oh, that they WOULD KNOW HIM... If they could understand HE IS ALIVE!!

That's the most reoccurring thought right now for me...

So I have been loving them, I have been working alongside them, rubbing elbows and hoping that maybe... just maybe, their time would come and I would be able to see God do a miracle in someone's heart.

Think of it like Jesus said in Mark in verses 26-29

"Then Jesus said, 'God's kingdom is like seed thrown on a field by a man who then goes to bed and forgets about it. The seed sprouts and grows—he has no idea how it happens. The earth does it all without his help: first a green stem of grass, then a bud, then the ripened grain. When the grain is fully formed, he reaps—harvest time!'"

So when it comes down to it... We can plant the seed, and even water it.. but it is GOD that brings the growth.. and it always will be, because.. well, we are HIS children.. and 

so are they.

[I corinthians 1:17]

One day though... every tongue will confess, and every knee will bow at the name of Jesus... when they know and understand what he did... and even the ones that don't will be faced with the truth. 

May the overflow of our love impact people, may they experience the fragrance of who Jesus Christ is through you and I... After all, we are his hands and his feet.

Salt Spill... Brokenness

Have you ever felt so broken that the tears just wouldn't stop... Or how about so broken that they finally did stop because you cried until there was none left...

Sometimes there is a reason and sometimes there just isn't... The burden of this world is so heavy and sometimes instead of casting our worries to the Lord, we take them upon ourselves.. Things happen, people die, hearts are broken, and the same old roaring lion seeking who he can devour...

Lately the Lord has definitely been taking me through the high waters David talks about in Psalm 69...

1 Save me, O God,
for the floodwaters are up to my neck.
2 Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire;
I can’t find a foothold.
I am in deep water,
and the floods overwhelm me.
3 I am exhausted from crying for help;
my throat is parched.
My eyes are swollen with weeping,
waiting for my God to help me.

Here I am in a similar situation crying out as David did, Christians EXPERIENCE this and it's okay because THE LORD loves us UNFAILINGLY... We cannot forget this! REMEMBER! REMEMBER THE TRUTH! We must be CONSISTENT and call upon Him..

13 But I keep praying to you, Lord,
hoping this time you will show me favor.
In your unfailing love, O God,
answer my prayer with your sure salvation.
14 Rescue me from the mud;
don’t let me sink any deeper!
Save me from those who hate me,
and pull me from these deep waters.
15 Don’t let the floods overwhelm me,
or the deep waters swallow me,
or the pit of death devour me.

The enemy sits, plotting, and waiting for our hope to fail us so that he can use these "trials of many kinds" to do three things.. Kill, steal, and destroy us...

29 I am suffering and in pain.
Rescue me, O God, by your saving power.

30 Then I will praise God’s name with singing,
and I will honor him with thanksgiving.
31 For this will please the Lord more than sacrificing cattle,
more than presenting a bull with its horns and hooves.
32 The humble will see their God at work and be glad.
Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.
33 For the Lord hears the cries of the needy;
he does not despise his imprisoned people.

34 Praise him, O heaven and earth,
the seas and all that move in them.
35 For God will save Jerusalem[d]
and rebuild the towns of Judah.
His people will live there
and settle in their own land.
36 The descendants of those who obey him will inherit the land,
and those who love him will live there in safety.

THIS MY FRIENDS IS WHAT SETS US APART-- Our PRAISE!

I have not chosen to be thankful in the past for my tears, but in moving ahead I will choose to be, I will fight, and I will no longer allow the enemy to batter me to pieces triumphing over me as if what Jesus did on the cross never happened...

WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERERS!

God will never plant the seed of his life upon the soil of a hard, unbroken spirit. He will only plant that seed where
the conviction of His Spirit
has brought brokenness,
where the soil has been watered
with the tears of repentance
as well as the tears of joy.

Alan Redpath
(1907-1989)

He is preparing you and I to do a MIRACLE IN AND THROUGH US...
The enemy is waiting at the door to use these hard times as an opportunity for us to give up, sin, and allow ourselves to be defeated...


Heart-rending
is divinely wrought
and solemnly felt.

Charles H. Spurgeon
(1834-1892)

J. C. Philpot wrote that "There is much presumption, pride, hypocrisy, deceit, delusion, formality, superstition and self-righteousness to be purged out of the heart of God's child."

I know this is true in me.. Brokenness is inevitable if we are to call ourselves Christians... but TAKE HEART

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise." (Psalm 51:17)

PRAISE THE LORD.
Praise Him, unceasingly, even in your pain...
He's not done with me, and he is not done with you either.. He who started a work in us is faithful to complete it... We are being made more and more into his image and because of the trials.. our faith WILL persevere...
Don't be afraid to let the tears fall.. The world sees it as weak but the word of God says He holds each one in a bottle... [Psalm 56:8]

Salt Spill... Lessons

hmm...
So much to say.

Well, things are a' changin' that's fo sho.

Tara Janik, my beloved roommate & sister for life, moved out of our condo the day before yesterday.
This makes me sad.

Why does it always seem that right when you're getting the hang of something the time is over?
Perhaps that's when you've learned all you can..
I dont know.

My relationship with Michael has significantly changed as well. Maybe not the feelings, but things have definitely been put into some major alignment...
Which is a GREAT thing.

Here is what I wrote a couple of my closest friends on facebook about it, I hope it makes sense...

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys!
I just wanted to explain something that recently happened that may have caught your attention.

Michael and I "broke up."

AH.
I know that is probably something none of you were expecting but I want to explain it to you...

The terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" are ridiculous.

Calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend doesn’t work because it only implies that there is a romantic relationship and it doesn’t distinguish the difference between relationships with other people of the opposite gender…

So if I have a guy who is my friend isn't he a boy-friend? And also, WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I WANT TO BE WITH A BOY?

THIS IS WORLDY!

Using worldly terms cause you to act in a worldly way
This is what's really going on here...

We are a brother and sister who are searching God's purpose for our relationship....

We are redefining our relationship... BIBLICALLY.
We are friends

We are attracted to each other..
We see that both of us have a heart to seek and know Jesus Christ..
We see potential of what could or may be..
We have a cultural connection

The language you use will put you in bondage..
Here are BIBLICAL levels of relationships..

1. Stranger - You don't know each other AT ALL.
2. Acquaintance - You know their name
3. Comrade - You work with each other
4. Brother/Sister - You are connected through emotional/feeling love
5. Friend - NO GREATER LOVE THAN THIS, THAN A MAN WHO WOULD LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIEND JOHN 15:13
6. Partner - Marriage

The only term used in the bible for a woman who is with a man is BETROTHED... Which means to be married or engaged and the term MARRIED.

There are certain things that need to be in order for a man and a woman to be married one day.. He needs to have a vision for WHERE he is taking you, a career, some type of spiritual objection, he needs to be FINANCIALLY STABLE and he needs to be living a life worthy of RESPECTING..

There are still things that are missing in this equation for Michael and I to be married one day so to call it courting isn't right either.. because he's not in the place to marry me yet right? so why are we putting pressure on ourselves to get married and be right spiritually because of some man created title? it's about GOD'S TIMING NOT OURS.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND that I am not trying to just take labels off or something pointless like that, I am trying to be OBEDIENT and I feel like too often in my life I have swam with the current of this world and I REFUSE TO CONTINUE DOING THAT!

So until I am in the position to be "betrothed" I need to PURSUE GOD for these things as does Michael.

How can I be a citizen of heaven if I act like a citizen of THIS WORLD?

It's about using KINGDOM LANGUAGE
What is dating?
What is boyfriend/girlfriend?
What is getting "asked out" or "hit on" ?
These are not words of THE KINGDOM and if I continue to use them it is going to be how I end up acting!

People have "wordly" marriages and divorces because everything that leads up to their marriage is WORDLY!

KINGDOM LANGUAGE

I’m not going to let terms of THIS WORLD & let limitations and boundaries keep me in bondage.

I am pursuing the Lord with my brother in Christ Michael to see if it is HIS WILL that we be in a partner relationship with each other one day.

In HIS Love & Grip I Remain,
Bianca

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Things are GOOD in my life. The Lord is working, doing, and undoing things.. Refining and purifying... He is here. In my life. Now.

I am so alone but at the same time I have never been so not alone.
Deut. 31:6- "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Duet. 31:8- "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Salt Spill... Truth

Where is the line between guarding your own heart and then just doing Philippians 4:7 and just praying and trusting Him? He said if you would do that the peace that surpasses understanding would guard you heart and mind...

So trusting in God, believing His promises, and walking in them = God guarding you heart?

Michael (my wonderful and amazing, God fearing boyfriend) left the day before yesterday from a wonderful 7 days here in FL all the way from Virginia for Thanksgiving break.. ::sign:: 

I am in love. 

Jesus, there is so much refining still left in our personal lives and in this relationship!

Help us TRUST you.. 

Help us CLING to you..

Help us to BELIEVE the promises you've spoken to us..

God is REAL and in Him there is ONLY truth, so if you believe the TRUTH, He will PROTECT YOU!

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged... Deut. 31:8

Then Pilate said to him, “So you are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say that I am a king. For this purpose I was born and for this purpose I have come into the world—to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to my voice.” Pilate said to him, “What is truth?”

After he had said this, he went back outside to the Jews and told them, “I find no guilt in him.

John 18:37-38

Don't get caught up in fear.  Fear comes from being punished but PERFECT LOVE casts out all fear; so REMAIN in HIM and He will REMAIN IN YOU.. [for GOD IS LOVE]

So... It's all about John 15

Salt Spill... Love

What things are good? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The fruits of the spirit... Man, it's all about love right now...Last night I spoke with my youth group on a new series I am writing based on the fruits of the spirit, beginning with the most important... LOVE...

Read these words & I pray that right now, in this moment, His love would penetrate you...

Ephesians 3:16-20

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you

with power through his Spirit in your inner being,

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love,

may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp

how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ,

and to know this love th

at surpasses knowledge — that

you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than

all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

(verse 21) to him be glory in the church and in

 Christ Jesus

throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. 

I am continually learning more and more about love and what it means to have it for the Lord and for His people... MAY AGAPE LOVE RUN THROUGH MY VEINS OH GOD.

A good friend of mine gave me this verse and it was as if I had read it for the first time...

"Leave no debt outstanding except for that w

ith which to love one another..." Romans 13:8

WOW.

Regardless of how we are loved... has nothing to do with the love that we owe...

So it doesn't depend if people treat us rudely...

Say mean things...

Hurt us...

or HATE US...

WE ARE TO LOVE.

WE ARE TO DECIDE IN OUR MINDS.

WE ARE TO LOVE "IN SPITE OF"

not "Because of"

Agape NEVER fails...

We wonder & ask God why He allows horrible things happen.. Poverty, sickness, disease, hurting and dying people, abortion... but have you ever thought to wonder maybe He is asking us the same thing?

After all, we are his hands and his feet...

But now these three remain: Faith, Hope, & Love. But the greatest of these is Love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Salt Spill... Faith

Wow...

So I just talked to my BELOVED friend Kristina Kingsmill today for the first time, who has been in the hospital for the last month of her life recovering from being hit by a car... You think about stuff like that happening to "other people" but never does it really hit you until it happens to you or someone you know... and it just makes me think...

FAITH.

God spared her life. Why? Because He wanted to.

...Not because He had to or because He was obligated to, but because He just decided to do it! God is GOOD. We seem to think that with changing circumstances God seizes to be good or seizes to bless us, yet our circumstances have absolutely NOTHING to do with the character of God...

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's all as it should be

Blessed be your name

And blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Through there's pain in the offering

Blessed be your name

"Though he slay me, yet will I trust in Him" - Job 1:4-5

My life is pretty routine...

Pretty regular...

Pretty normal... ew. But I hate normal?

Well... I guess normal right now is meaning:

I am being refined

I am being broken

I am being torn

I am bring shattered

I am being RUINED...

...and yet, I WILL CHOOSE TO STILL TRUST IN HIM... Because I KNOW He's just getting started... And before things start moving in the natural there are things shifting in the supernatural, in the unseen... And instead of looking at life from where I stand I will DAILY choose to trust Him and thank Him, that even though my circumstances have changed HE HAS NOT.

Even though things are different, His promise over my life is STILL THE SAME....

"She will be a prophetess and a soul winner"

There are three types of people in life - The driver, the passenger, or the luggage...

I trust God to drive...

I don't have to sit in the front seat seeing everything he is doing...

Instead... I think I'll choose to be in the dark, in the trunk, trusting that He is taking me where I need to go.. I know in time everything will be revealed.

...That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong... 2 Corinthians 12:10

Did I mention that I get to see the love of my life in... 6 DAYS?!

Life is good, but even when it's not... GOD IS.

Salt Spill... I am Bianca

I suppose I am officially a "blogger."

Hmm.. Well, I love Jesus and His Spirit and His words and His voice and His hand on my life and without Him I would not be able to live or survive.. He is my oxygen.

So, I'm here in Port St. Lucie and just got back from the pineapple festival with my good friends Nikki, Maria, and Tara watching "Baby Mama" which is HILARIOUS by the way & trying to figure this thing out.. I'm excited to explore & travel through my thoughts on here, and hopefully read yours as well..

My purpose is to embrace life, laughter, liberty, and the cross...

My purpose is to fulfill my destiny today, in this moment, NOW.. Carpe horem.. Matthew 6:34

My purpose is to experience LOVE & INTIMACY.. Go to the secret place.. Psalm 27:4 & a relentless pursuit of God and a relentless pursuit of the people He loves..

My purpose is for COMMUNITY... Living out Acts 2

My purpose is for intercession and to war.. Matt 11:12

My purpose is to have DRIVE.. I will RUN with diligence, 1 Cor. 9:24..

So I decided before I start this thing & just put things out there about me, I must be known for what is REALLY inside me..

So here I am, a 20 year old girl who lives life because that is what it was created for, to experience and savor EVERY good thing.. and to make Jesus KNOWN.

Welcome to my crazy, beautiful, & mixed up life :-)